Monday, June 10, 2013

My Momma was struck by lightening years ago.

She was weaving, sitting at her metal frame loom. It was a cool, sunny day with little clouds but you could see lightening off and away in the distance, on the horizon. When it struck, it lanced across the sky and hit the ground right behind our old house and her knee against the loom, the proximity of the strike and the ground between proved to be an excellent conductor as Momma's standing on end hairbun proved positive of that strike.

It is said that if you survive such an event, you are gifted by the gods the power to speak to the rain, to the clouds, and to the very gods themselves who cross the skies, playing with light and sound during inclement weather.

My most favorite memory of her is of a day we spent together, alone. Midday, the sunny skies turned dark and I came back into the house to watch through the north facing windows the sight of the clouds threatening rain. I remember the damp smell of the earth and the coolness of the breeze on my face. I remember listening to the sound of my Mother in the arbor outside, raking the front yard. Then the thunder started rolling loudly overhead. I had never witnessed a monsoon like the one that took place over our house that day. Thunder rolled from one end of the sky to the other and it was so deafening as it clapped and boomed all around. Still, no rain. As soon as one thunder clap had ended, another rolled right after the other, trailing in its wake and at times, it came in waves of two or three altogether. I remember feeling the sonic booms popping in the air and the feeling of our house shuddering as the windows shook and the heavy oak doors swung slowly. It was amazingly beautiful in all its wild glory especially as lightening began to light up the darkness of the house every few minutes.

But. Still. No rain.

Momma was outside and soon, she tired of the din and noise and she began shouting upwards at the clouds, 'Stop playing around! You bring the promise of rain but would rather play! We need rain! Bring the rain or leave!' As soon as she was done yelling, the first few drops of rain fell and as she closed the distance from where she stood and the porch of the open door, the light drops turned into a driving pour that drenched her skirt and matted her hair to her scalp. I remember the smile on her face and the laughter she let go of as she slammed the door behind her.


My Dad always told me that she could bring the rain, this rainy day woman of his.

Thursday, January 10, 2013

bittersweet

i had a dream the other morning and it left me smiling throughout the day.  it was a dream about mom.  she is the age that she is right now but the dream took place at the old house, in the living room.  dad was there.  myself and others that i could not see were there.  it was late in the evening, after darkness had fallen, but the hands of the clock were placed at 6:15 pm.  mom was healthy looking.  she had meat back on her bones and had returned to her robust proportions.  she was no longer unsteady and she was wearing those black horn rimmed glasses of hers from the 80's.  she looked youthful and beautiful as she sat there on the south side of the wood burning stove.  a pot of water sat on the stove, bubbling and letting steam drift upwards from its lip.  she was holding a bowl of stew in both hands as she sat on the cracked linoleum floor, dipping her spoon in it rhythmically as she ate her dinner.  she had been sick for so very long.  but here, she had grown stronger, color had returned to her cheeks and that old familiar light had returned to her eyes.  she smiled and i felt such a mixture of joy and sorrow, such a pang of bittersweet emotion it was.  joy that health had returned to her and sorrow that so much time had been lost to reach this point.

it was such a beautiful dream and i carried it with me throughout the next day, smiling every so often.

she is my prayer.

Monday, January 7, 2013

'ought thirteen

New Decade.  New Year.  New Start.

Let's see where this takes us!